taking my life two miles at a time

Sometime in December, after enduring two months of chaotic change (friends leaving, friends in trouble, incredibly frustrating family situations and the looming anniversary of the Xmas from hell), I decided to run. I’d been told it would clear your head and i figured i needed that. It was either run or break at that point. The first time I headed out I thought I was going to throw up and my body wanted to know why we were continuing on instead of turning back towards the couch. I had to tell myself the couch gets you no where. It was 3 weeks before Xmas, so houses had Xmas lights up and there was actually a little snow still on the ground. After I convinced my body to keep going, I rounded a corner and all of a sudden I started uncontrollably sobbing. I suppose that was the clearing of the head I had been told about. But there I was, running in the dark, Trapt playing on my iPod, me crying so hard all the Xmas lights got all blurry….kinda finny and pathetic all at once. I thought shit like that only happened in the movies.

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