not so quik trip

I stopped by a QuikTrip tonight to grab a fountain drink for my ride home. I pulled up and because it was pretty late there were only two cars out front. I go in and there’s me, an old lady loitering by the soda fountains with an empty cup and a woman and her 3 year old who was wearing rain galoshes (it wasnt raining). I figure sweet, I’ll get in and out….besides isn’t that the point of QuikTrips? By the time i grab my drink though the woman and her child have beat me to the counter. So I walk up behind them and while I have to say I don’t spend a lot of time in convenience stores so maybe this isn’t out of the norm…but this woman had the biggest hodge podge of crap I have ever seen. We’ll start with the two fountain drinks one of which was for the 3 year old…and i wondered why she was buying a pop for her daughter at 11:00 at night…in fact…why wasn’t the daughter in bed? The rest of the counter was filled with the following:

2 large bottles of Gatorade

2 bags of jolly ranchers

2 ice cream sandwiches

1 bag of three donuts

1 box of donuts

1 package of crackers

1 sucker

Youre guess is as good as mine…all i know is my quick trip was 10 minutes long.

this installment is brought you by the letters L, A, I, D, O, F & F

I was recently laid off…about three weeks ago now that I think about it. And i believe (or maybe im just trying to convince myself) ive moved into the funny phase of being laid off. You can only stay mad and worked up so long before it all becomes absurd. So now that I can actually talk about it…here are the top 10 great things about being unemployed.

10. You get to stay in your pajamas as long as you want.

9. I save about $40 a week ($120 so far) on gas…you know, what with no commute.

8. I no longer feel obligated to pay money to wear jeans on so appointed jeans days.

7. I no longer have to worry about what holidays constitute buying gifts for a boss.

6. I haven’t had high heels on in weeks.

5. I haven’t done laundry since i was laid off…I wear the same shit daily and most of the time have on no undergarments.

4. I get to see what my dog does all day…which, in case youre wondering, is sleep.

3. I get to be way more creative..which is sad when my job was about being creative.

2. I dont have to waste most of my day in pointless corporate induced meetings.

1. I get to drink whenever I want.