My night went a little something like this:

11:55 – got to bed a little later than usual…took mom to see The Help for her b-day.

12:03 – chirp

12:03:10 – Husband: was that a smoke detector?

Me: Uhhh…yup

Husband: Son of a bitch

12:04 – chirp

12:05 – the dog is officially freaked out and panting like crazy

12:06 – the husband dismantles the smoke detector in our bedroom as the sound seems to be coming from fairly close to us

12:25 – chirp

Husband: Are you freaking kidding me?!??!

12:26-12:31 – the husband dismantles (what he thinks are) ALL the smoke detectors on the upper level of our house and takes them to the basement

12:45 – chirp…the dog now climbs in the shower.

12:46 – the husband gets up to try and figure out why we can still hear the chirps if all smoke detectors are now in the basement

12:50 – I get up and see he has missed one at the end of our hall…we have NO idea why we have 5 on one level some just outside the door from another one.

12:55 – he replaces the battery in the missed detector with our last 9-volt figuring at this point we have narrowed down the culprit.

1:25 – chirp

The Husband: motherfu**er@!?@!@@!?@!@

1:32 – I get dressed so I can go to the Kwik Shop to buy more 9-volts. At this point we think the lone still-assembled alarm is pissed and won’t shut up until we reassemble the rest of them.

1:35 – I head out, and as I open the door the dog bolts past me unannounced and heads to the car.

Dog: Get me out of this crazy house.

1:38 – I purchase 6 9-volt batteries. I’m sure the young boy behind the counter had grand speculations about what I was trying to power up.  I didn’t care.

1:40-1:50 – The husband re-assembles all the smoke detectors with new batteries.

2:00 – chirp

Husband: Sweet mary all that is holy I need to go to sleep

2:01 – The husband heads out to the hall to literally sit under three of the detectors to determine which one is STILL chirping.  The dog has now wedged herself between my bedside table and the bed.  I am contemplating going to sleep in the car.

2:15 – I tell the husband maybe that was a final reset-like chirp and he comes back to bed.

2:16 – I think I fell asleep

2:30 – chirp

Husband: angry silence

Me: Do you think it’s the carbon monoxide detector?

2:32 – The husband determines it is INDEED the carbon monoxide detector but then discovers it takes batteries that are NOT 9-volt of which we have none.

2:35 – The carbon monoxide detector is banished, dismantled, to the garage.

Dear Mr. Carbon Monoxide Detector Maker,

Can you please, please, pretty freaking please make the damn ‘dead battery’ alert sound different than a smoke detector alert?


Only got 4 hours of sleep and hating my day right now

tales from the floor – Sig Ep style

So the husband cleans carpets for a living. He’s in and out of dozens of homes in any given week and every now and then he comes home with a really awesome story.  I’ve been thinking about starting a series here and sharing the stories as we go.  Today he came home with too good of a story not to share…so here goes tales from the floor, episode 1.

As many of you know we live out by Lawrence so this time of year is a lot of cleaning empty apartments and sorority/fraternity houses before the new wave of students wanders back to town.  Today he was called in to clean the Sig Ep house which according to him is the dirtiest frat house he’s ever cleaned.

Example 1: He is there today mainly to clean the tile and as he goes over things with the house mother he tells her the grout is fairly dark to begin with, so it should clean up fairly well. He was mistaken…not in that it didn’t clean up well but that it wasn’t dark grout to begin with.  It actually wound up being just that dirty.

Example 2: As he moved onto the carpet, he discovered gum…everywhere.  Which leads me to wonder does gum just inexplicably fall out of frat guy’s mouths?  And why oh why are they not picking it up.  Im gonna say alcohol may play in here somehow.

Example 3: While cleaning around the gum, his assistant comes up and tells him he has found stuff on the carpet in another room and he can not identify it.  The husband follows him into what appears to be a peanut butter war zone.  There is peanut butter on the walls, the ceiling and piles of it in corners.  I’m not even going to speculate here.

When all was said and done, it took them from 8:30 – 4:30 to clean 3000 sq. ft. of tile and another 3000 sq. ft. of carpet.

suck it cancer

Tomorrow I will participate in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  My sister and I walked it a couple years ago and while I don’t know anyone who has specifically had breast cancer, in my mind it was still a day to reflect on those who have had to fight any form of cancer.  Two years ago my list was small and mainly consisted of grandparents and aunts and uncles who had been much older.

Unfortunately for me this year, I find myself with two women in my life who are currently battling cancer and both of whom are right around my age or younger.  I found out about both cases suddenly and unexpectedly and I’ll tell you…my head had no idea how to wrap itself around that information.  I literally didn’t know how i was supposed to process that information…I don’t know if I’ll ever figure that out.  Its too early for me to have friends with cancer (god that sounds like a super sad chick flick).  Friends who are wives and mothers and sisters and some of the most wonderful women I’ve met so far.

And while I can’t even imagine how I would deal with the magnitude of fighting this disease, these two women are doing it flawlessly, courageously and unabashedly. I see them smiling through the recovery, talking candidly about the most private moments and finding something positive in every day.  They’ve basically said fuck you cancer, its not my time, and I can only hope if I ever have to face this down their stories will be what drag me along.

So while they recuperate and spend time gaining strength again, Im going go out and smash a 5K tomorrow.  This one’s for you two.