lions and tigers and baileys, oh my

We got to hang out with the Bailey clan for Halloween.  Here are my highlights of the evening:

The best hand made Tin Man, Dorothy and Wicked Witch costumes I’ve seen.

The fact the husband uses Halloween as an excuse to walk around in his creepy mask.

Having a car pull up that was decorated like the bat mobile with a bat man inside driving.  While at the moment it was awesome, as an after thought it may have been creepy….who knows who was in the car creeping through the streets.

Maggie’s white chicken chili.

Lily falling down the stairs on the husband’s watch.

Tyler screaming out that the ding bell didn’t work.

Thanks Baileys for a great evening!

high school reboot…a reunion in the making

For a week or so the online high school reunion crew posted a survey regarding dates for next year’s reunion.  And based on a whopping 20% response rate, they chose a date and a location.  And before you know it…that’s right…someone has a problem with the location.  The question is why are we having the reunion at a spot NOT in Olathe and therefore not supporting local businesses?  And while I honestly don’t give a shit, I’ll tell you the husband had the same question when I told him about it.  It’s a legitimate question and probably an important one when cities struggle as the economy sits tight in sucksville.  I think it may have made more sense to keep it in Olathe.

The defense was who wants to have it at the Holiday Inn and I say who cares where we have it?  Oh wait…status must still matter in JoCo…I forget.  There was also the defense that moving it out of Olathe kept the cost down and offered more perks.

Well…I then discovered the “lower cost” is $45 and Im not sure this qualifies as keeping the cost down.  My good friend just had his reunion and they sat at $20 a head.  I’m figuring the $45 will cover food, but I bet my ass it wont be anything I can eat being a non-red meat, pork, dairy eating gal.  I also bet the “perks” don’t include drinks.  Maybe I’ll follow suit with my friends idea, hit a liquor store on the way there and serve drinks out of the trunk of my car.

Besides I didn’t misbehave in high school…maybe I can make up some time here.  You come find me at the reunion; I’ll hook you up:)

i thought my box was wet

Interactions like this happen in my house all the time.

Thursday night I hear the husband rummaging around in the kitchen and then I hear him say:

Hey, thats dirty.

So I asked him what was up and he tells me he pulled a beer can out of his case he just bought that was completely empty.

I say:

What, how does that even happen?

Then I hear him mumble:

I thought my box was wet….maybe i should go check the trunk and the hatchet.

I looked at him and thought that sentence doesnt even make sense. Apparently, unbeknownst to me, he has a hatchet in his trunk (dont ask) and thought maybe it had poked the box (twss*) and popped a can open.

At that point I wandered off shaking my head.

*thats what she said

mystery cookies

I dont bake.  If you know me, you absolutely know this is true.  Hell, you know I’m not even allowed in the kitchen as I may melt something to the stove or actually burn the house down.

Recently though, to support our favorite neighbor girl who sings, cheerleads, tracks it up, rocks at anything she does (you know who you are Goat), we bought a couple buckets of frozen cookie dough.  And while there is no way the two of us can eat that much cookie dough, we figured we had enough holiday, family stuff coming up to take cookies to.

So today we had lunch planned at mom’s house, and so I thought we’d make up a batch.  When we arrived it was hectic and there was dessert bread made too, so I pulled the bag of cookies out and stuck them in a corner on the counter…and subsequently forgot about them.

At about 7:30 this evening little sister Facebooks me:

Did you bring cookies to mom’s house and leave them?

I thought oh shit and confirmed we had.

At 7:45 little sister calls the husband:

Did you guys bring cookies to mom’s and leave them without telling anyone?

The husband once again confirms it was us.

At 7:46 sister #2 texts me:

Did you leave cookies at mom’s house?

Once again I confirm.

I finally call mom.

Apparently mom and dad found the bag of cookies after we left.  Little sister is napping and they wonder where they came from.  They rule out sister #2 as she has a 1-year-old, and they figure there is no way she baked cookies. They rule me out as…well, you read the above.  So they figure they must have been leftovers from a party little sister was at last night.

Little sister gets up from her nap to find mom and dad having coffee and cookies.

Mom and Dad say:

Hey, thanks for bringing the cookies home…they’re great.

Little sister says:

Uh, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Who knew 12 cookies would cause so much confusion on a Sunday afternoon.

happy birthday nikki

One of my good friends, Nikki, turned 50 last weekend and I was invited to the fabulous bash.  Nikki is a graphic artist and outside of work a super creative artist whose always making great gifts for people’s bdays.

While I also landed a creative gene, I got the short end of the stick and can only create words…and I’m always super jealous I don’t have the ability to create actual things for people. But this time around I figured maybe I’d give it a go and create something for her…even if it was just a bunch of words.

Then I had the great idea these words would be better spoken and some how convinced myself to read the words out loud to a house full of people.  I also commissioned another creative friend to organize the words on paper for me.

She asked me to post what I read…so along with an image of what my friend put together…here are 50 things I love about Nikki:

She is creative

& artistic.

A lady with an attitude

& a purveyor of some pretty bad ass baked goods.

She is a doting daughter,

attentive aunt

& devoted sister.

A genuine listener,

a fellow connoisseur of adult beverages…specifically vodka

& has a booming personality.

Is a movie maven

a music enthusiast

a hippy at heart.

She has an enormously kind heart

& is a shoulder to cry on.

She is one mean mama on the dance floor.

Is self made,

self sufficient

& a loyal friend.

But…one of the worst spellers I have EVER met

& ends most sentences with a question mark.

She is Howard’s hag,

a creator of some amazingly, magnificent treasures,

one foxy lady

& an accessory whore.

She is beautiful on the inside & out,

a food fanatic,


a lusty wench

& vertically challenged.

Will always, ALWAYS tell you what she thinks,

throws legendary Halloween parties

& a savior of small animals…just ask Willy.

She is compassionate,


a dirty girl,

a partaker of trouble,

a love maker

& a vixen.

Handles loss & change graciously

& rolls with the punches, no matter how hard they hit.

She is a punk rocker,

knows how to properly fly her freak flag,

is a sassy lady

& is inappropriate…in the best way possible.

She is fantastically funny,

cusses like a sailor,

is vivacious,

displays a lust for life

and is hands down the owner of the world’s most bodacious ta tas.

art by b. tuttle

wise word wednesday

So I was telling a friend of mine the other day about an injury I have and I used a word he didn’t know when talking about the muscles that are affected.  He proceeded to tell me it might be interesting if, weekly, I posted a new word…hopefully a word not familiar to most people.  And I thought that since I identify myself as a word girl here it only made sense to start such an idea.

I decided to pick Wednesday as Wednesday is the middle of the week, we’re only half way to Friday, need something to look forward day.

With that said, we’ll start here this week with the word that started it.


Either of two muscles, one on each side of the loin, extending internally from the sides of the spinal column to the upper end of the femur, which assist in flexing and rotating the thigh and flexing the trunk on the pelvis.  According to my yoga instructor these are your core muscles that help stabilize you.

today’s run sponsored by fantastic chalk drawings

I went out for my three mile run this morning and apparently yesterday was a good day for chalk drawings.  I wish I had taken my phone with me as these are probably much funnier with an image, but I did not and didn’t want to go back out and be the creepy woman hopping out of her car to photograph people’s driveways.

Mile 1: A giant must live here.  The hopscotch squares were so huge an entire kindergarten class could stand in one.

Mile 1 1/2:  I ran across a picture of a house and an outline of a person twice as big as the house.  Either this child needs a lesson in proportions or there’s a hell of a future for him in the crime scene, chalk outlines department.

Mile 2 (This one made me stop and walk as I can’t run and laugh):  I’m sure this child’s parents were quite impressed with what I’m guessing was a drawing of a mushroom.  But to the demented, non-breeder, all I saw was a penis and ball sac.

And for the record, Busta Rymes will really make you haul some ass as you head into the final stretch.

pacific northwest brewery tour by bicycle

The husband and I headed to Seattle a couple weeks ago and road tripped it down the coast all the way into San Francisco.  And while there are a ton of stories I want to get posted here, I’m going to start with this one…its out of order but I found it really interesting.

After a day in Seattle we headed out towards Mt. St. Helens (which we saw very little of due to rain…weird, right? rain in the pacific northwest) and then over onto Highway 101.  Periodically, as we got closer to Highway 101, we noticed small groups of cyclists but didn’t think much about it.  But the longer we were on the road and the more we started watching, we noticed how much gear these cyclists were carrying.  Most had at least saddle bags on the back of their bikes but there were some loaded up with packs on the front too; a few were even pulling separate carts behind their bikes.

As we pushed down the coast of Oregon day after day, we would run into single cyclists and then packs we had to maneuver around entirely.  There were signs everywhere calling out the highway as a scenic bike route and road signs everywhere urged us to watch out for cyclists.  At this point, we figured this coast must be a pilgrimage cyclists take.

Every hill we would pass them on I would wonder how the hell they were ever going to make it to the top.  Some of these climbs would go on for miles and the first two days we drove, these cyclists were dealing with crazy rain and low visibility.

Finally in a brewery in Eureka, California we ran into two cyclists who appeared to be making the “trip” (whatever that means) and the husband decided to ask them where they were from and where they were headed.  They were actually from Seattle and had started out on Sept. 11th on a 25 day bike trip down into San Francisco.  They were on day 9 (he had to check his calendar as they were confused as to what day it was) and had about 5 hours of cycling left that day.  This was their first time making the trip, but the coolest thing was they had planned the whole trip around visiting breweries all along the way.  She had on a “Will Bike for Beer” headband and they had the sample flight of beers while they refueled.  They told us they averaged between 60 and 80 miles a day depending on elevation and the climbs they encountered.

The husband thought they were crazy but I could totally see myself doing something like that.  We were traveling the same route at about 60 miles an hour but imagine how awesome it would be to do it at less than half that speed.  You wouldn’t miss anything.  It was very inspirational but those cyclists were far more extreme athletes than I ever will be.