the asylum

the asylum, work,

A building exists in a random city in the middle of nowhere.  Inside this building is a business.  A business with 50 employees.  A business making money and creating products.  Or so they want you to believe. This “business” is actually a social experiment. Employees are legitimately hired and paid. But what the employees don’t know is they are there for one man’s entertainment.  “Supervisors” and extra “employees” have been planted and “real” employees are subjected to beyond absurd situations.  Anyone who stays on board for 2 years will win $2 million.  No one has lasted that long.  Welcome to the Asylum


Max’s 2 graphic designers don’t have Internet access…again.  Great, she thinks to herself.  I’m going to have to submit a Help Desk ticket.  Although she will surely be wrong and this won’t be a help desk problem and she will get yelled at. She never gets it right. She is positive they change the Help Desk submission rules daily.

She must have submitted something right because IT Guy wanders over already looking confused.  He creepily leans over Art Director #1 and jiggles his mouse.  Yup, nothing.  He walks over to the server that sits unlocked most days and jiggles some blue wires. He wanders back to the employee’s cube and literally stands there scratching the back of his head.  Then he wanders off without saying a word to anyone.  Stellar help as usual.

adventures in yoga

I think tonight’s yoga class was yoga 5.0.  It was beyond an ass kicking class; I actually don’t even know what just happened for 90 minutes.

It’s only an hour later and I already can’t lift my arms.

We did a new pose tonight which I’m pretty sure was called supercalifragilisticexpealidocious.  I looked like a nimrod trying to get into the pose and the only way I could get out of said pose was to fall out of it.

Loud breather, diaper wearing guy was in class tonight.  I can hear that guy breathe no matter where he is in the studio.

Chatty rudely asked me how old I was.

I currently am climbing my stairs by pulling myself up with the banister.

I suspect tomorrow morning I will literally have to roll out of bed as I do not expect to be able to use my arms or legs to sit myself up.


favorite 5 of the week

Yoga with the husband.

2. A running partner on a Thursday night.  A dog ran with me for the last mile and a half of my three mile run.

3. A 60 degree day in January…in Kansas.  We grilled salmon and sat outside with no shoes on.

January, 60 degrees

4. Sunday brunch at Ingredient…and the offer of a to-go-cup for my Bloody Mary. I declined as I’m pretty sure that is illegal.

5. Maybelline Baby Lips in pink punch.  I’m ready for summer and a tan.