I attended my first spin class this morning. You know the classes in the movies that look like this?


I couldn’t convince myself that the classes weren’t really like that and was terrified to try one out. But my sister recently started taking classes, and I decided to tag along this morning all the while convincing myself things would be fine.

I’m a runner. I can hang through 90 minutes of yoga. I’ll be fine.

Come to find out though, the classes are EXACTLY like you see in movies.

My first mistake is that the class is on a Sunday morning. At 8:00 AM. 30 minutes away from my house. This puts a major cramp in my Saturday night drinking. It proceeds to cramp my weekend when my alarm goes off at 6:30, and I realize I don’t get to HANG around in bed all morning. But I committed by paying in advance, so spin class here I come.

We are 15 minutes early to class…I’m new and obviously need the instructor to help me with bike adjustments. As we head into class there are girls there already, on bikes, spinning away. It is similar to the runners who arrive early to 5Ks and runs circles in the streets before the run starts. You know because running 3 miles just isn’t quite enough. I mutter “overachievers” as I drag my tired ass past them to find a bike.

My next obstacle is getting on the damn bike. There are straps that you have to shove your feet in to hold them in place. But you have to figure out how to swing your leg over the bike while your other foot is still on the floor then get your foot in the harness while pushing off the floor from the other side. You are momentarily in mid air, suspended over the bike and literally have just seconds to get a good foot hold before slamming down on the seat.

After managing to get on the bike without smashing my face into it, the instructor starts up the music and dims the lights and I suddenly realize that yes, yes the class is going to be EXACTLY like in the movies.

My next hour looks something like this:

I rock the first 10 minutes and am super proud of myself until the instructor says “good warm up,” and I realize I may be in trouble.

I try to keep up with various speeds and resistance levels but decide after 15 minutes that my new goal needs to be to just figure out how to keep my legs moving for an hour.

After 20 minutes I suddenly think I might pass out.

Then we do jumps. This involves standing while pedaling for 5 seconds, then sitting for 5 seconds. This went on forever.

At some point I just had to stop standing and pedaling.

But then my ass goes numb.

At the 30 minute mark I thought to myself “you are 42 years old…how did you think this was a good idea?”

The instructor asks why we aren’t you pedaling harder, and I want to tell her it’s because I can no longer feel my legs.

Somewhere between 30 minutes and 40 minutes I may have blacked out.

At the 40 minute mark I get a second wind.

At the 42 minute mark I lose said second wind.

45 minutes in I think I may just die, and I look over at the girl two bikes down. While I am just trying to keep my legs rotating, she is STANDING while pedaling. And not even sweating. And smiling. Meh….look at me all cute and pedaling in rhythm.

At the 50 minute mark when I think we are almost done, we instead do arm work. This is when I realize I now have to do weight work while not falling off the bike. Some of the riders can actually stand and pedal while holding the handles with one hand and lifting a weight with the other. I would literally have fallen off the bike if I had even considered this.

At some point 60 minutes eventually pass and we are told we can stop pedaling. I may or may not have stopped before then. I’m not sure how I get off the bike. I do know I have to hold the wall as I climb the stairs down out of the place. And I’m pretty sure I tell the girl at the coffee place next door my order twice because I can’t remember if I told her everything.

It’s now 8 hours after the class and I am having to use my arms to get up off the toilet, but hey, I made it through a spin class, right?